Burhan Wani, And the likes

I have not done much research into who he was and how he was killed, but one thing that almost all news articles describe is that he was a militant. For state (India), he was a terrorist who was terrorising the idea of a united India. For some other states (say, the likes of Pakistan) he was a martyr who gave up his life for the freedom of Kashmir.

To me, he was an indoctrinated youth, mislead to path of violence and fundamentalism. He might not have even committed that much crime in such a small age (21.7 yrs) that he was labelled in the eyes of nation as fit to be killed, but the thought, the idea, the organisation which he represented was the culprit. He was standing in front of the army men as an idea of a divided India. Indian soldiers, or for that matter any Indian citizen would risk his full life to kill this idea. That idea was showing itself in full demonic form in Burhan Wani, and possibly the soldiers who killed him could not differentiate between the idea and the person.

They killed the person, but could not yet kill the idea. Words like martyr, decorating a person whom the rest of the country considered a terrorist, did further harm to the country's loss. The country soon realised that it has not just lost one of the sons of its soil, it has also gained a multiple times more number of opposing forces, having sympathy with their late martyr.


I am yet to understand clearly why the forces have to kill the terrorist. When they see that the killing is more costly to them, as the idea spreads more when the person fighting for a cause is killed, why they let the idea spread ?

The same happened in Pathankot when the officer saw no other option but to blast the room in which the terrorists were hiding. 26/11 led to arrest of one out of six terrorists but that lone terrorist was able to disclose information of priceless value, something which a dead terrorist would not have provided even in remote dreams. Why not follow the policy of arresting the terrorist alive ?

I personally don't have the full information of the overall encounter, but if the forces' ideas was to terminate the person as such, I am no less certain that this is a non useful, in fact a militating idea, an idea that actually goes against our wishes.

May be the forces in Kashmir have arrested so many innocents as well (on the basis of doubt) that the higher action against the true violence perpetrators appears to be death. This is again not right in my eyes.

I hope this violence ends as soon as it can, and opportunistic countries shut their mouths before interfering in this nation's internal and sensitive matter.

Woman, a social issue

The title may irritate many, but this is true to a large extent. For a long time, women have only been fought for, or have themselves fought; for equality, justice, tolerance, gender parity... the list is not endless, but it is not short either.

The issue may be the difference of opinions that today's liberated minds have nurtured. Some would hardly care about any other group in the society, while some others may only think about themselves. Some may think about pressing problems out of their lives, but would not have the will to address those issues. Some may have the will and may fail, while a very few remaining ones will be able to succeed. Unfortunately the amount of success achieved by them is not sufficient to address the unrest arising out of the issues related to women.

Why is the action not sufficient ? I believe it is because the mindsets are hard to change if there is no one who would inspire, or at least make people aware for changing their mindsets. Without awareness, even an initiation to change does not happen. A few feminist groups, or commission for women would not be able to change the mindsets. Punishment is just a remedy and a deterrent but not a solution. They are there only when we contact them, telling them about the grave injustice related to a woman happened around us. They will take our case and will fight for us. This may indeed create love for them in our minds, but that will not be the change in mindset that I am talking about. Mindsets are developed with loved ones, the people whom we trust. Only when the close knit group, be it a family or a group of friends, keeps a healthy environment will the bigger groups , like society be rid of such painful realities. The 'unit economics' of the social organisation has to be positive so as to ensure that the social organisation is fully positive.

There must be many incidents in families where on birth of a boy, there are big celebrations, while the birth of a girl child invites sadness and worry. At the same time, I also know of families where there is great celebration on birth of a girl child. There are families where growing up children realize that they have this role to play as a boy or a girl. While there are also families which raise their kids equally, as kids the brother and sister playing and fighting each other and only with time, the brother realises that he has to be a little more sensitive for his sister and the sister realises that her brother has his own needs which she should respect. The gender roles evolve with time in both these kinds of families but in the first kinds, the difference in male and female has been engraved right from childhood, while in the second kind, the differences have evolved with time and are more of understanding and tolerance based.

During prosperous times, any of the kind of families or groups would live happily as everyone has what he wants, but when resources are limited, emotional strength is required. This is when the second type of families get an edge over the first type. When the siblings were considered equal, they both are going to contribute during the time of need, whereas in cases where the female(on in some regions, male) member is not considered worthy enough, or weak enough, only one would be able to contribute during the time of need, as the other, unworthy one, is not at all prepared, or she/he may not even have been asked if she can contribute. Hence the inequality in such a case becomes bigger, the seeds of which were as small as division of work right at the birth. The second type of families were able to come out of the difficult times earlier than the first type, because work by two is finished quicker than work by one, simple maths. Along with this, the woman of this family was happier as she also contributed during the time of need, as she was brought up like this, equal to everyone.

This 'unit economics' of a small family that I am trying to describe can be scaled 3 billion times to make the world we live in. The society built by such families would for sure have women and men treated at par, while both having their work definitions evolved with time, which would certainly not be mutually exclusive. We all are mix of feminine and masculine qualities, females having very small masculine qualities and males having very less feminine, if masculine and feminine have to be necessarily defined the way these words are. Females can have power to blow a punch on face of their colleague, and males can have power to show shyness and timidness. (I just tried to mix the well formed opinion about masculism and feminism. I do not personally associate with these definitions.)

Swami Vivekanand said, "The best thermometer to the progress of a nation is its treatment of its women.” He connected the women as symbol for good health of a society. 

The news of bad treatment of women at workplace perturb people equally. No one would be able to justify sexual assault on women, whether one of them is working as a labourer in a garment factory or serving as a manager to a rich MNC client. Sensitivity to women's issues should start at home, the very family in which we live, and with the very friends which mean the world to us.

If we are able to stop any differentiating incident or any indecent remark made towards women in our group or our family, we are going ahead with the progress of the nation, as per vivekananda. (as per me too :) ) 

Small poem .. written 2 yrs ago

Facebook showed that I wrote it exactly 2 years ago. Must have been super upset with society.

Life changes. Change lives. A moment sun rises. A moment sun sets. Moment changes. Life changes.

The wrath of Sun will only hurt the one not willing to change his stand. But his stand was his life. But, Life changes.

That famous tree which did not fall, was willing to shed the ego so tall. Adamant egos died a change. Change lives.

Only change lives. Society you will not live unchanged.

Efforts in a Joint Family

It can be really frustrating and disappointing at seeing that the very thing that you wanted to prevent by taking an action has actually happened, only because you did what you think was the right way to prevent that thing.

Half of the day is spent in sorting out the differences and moderating the mood in the atmosphere. There are bunch of expectations from the new member of the house, expectations related to food, dress, size, family handling and also that the new member, the daughter in law has kept the parents' son happy.

The son comes with his own set of expectations. The wife should not bring disturbance in his peaceful house. She should be taught how she will live with his parents. How the elder or younger brother will have to be seen and dealt with like the husband has been doing. That she should not stop her studies and how she can squeeze time out from her busy schedule to study.

The wife comes with her own fears and with sole dependence on her husband, who is the main mediator and anchor for the family, till the time the wife settles in. She cries at the scold of the parents in law but only on the shoulder of her husband, who can not question his parents because the things that the parents told the wife to do have been there in his house for long. He has to keep balance so that neither the parents feel offended that their son is asking them to change their way of living, nor that the wife thinks that her husband is taking her lightly and is only concentrated on his parents.

Sometimes, the efforts backfire. And the mediator becomes the receiving end from both the sides! Neither his parents remain happy from him, because he had done something as a husband which was not acceptable as a son, not his wife agree with what he would have done, as she thought that it was her and her parents' in law matter and he should not have interfered in the process.

In the whole process, the air of the family gets heated up and no cooler or ac can cool it down. Again the anchor of peace in the house makes efforts to get the train back on track.

In this process, half of the day gets easily spent. And another half gets spent in office. Whole day goes away in stuff not enriching anyone, but only maintaining a long family.

p.s.: If you want to build a startup,, there is no good or bad time if you are strong willed and a risk taker, but if you want to maintain the already existing structure and add on bricks to it, be it family or anything else, the best time to do it would be when you are in your early 20s, when there is little more to zero responsibilities on your head! :)

Fire in Ideas

Ideas have great values. Their potential brings light to everyone around. Every second individual I meet has some idea or another in his mind. Humans are made of such sort of chemical which makes them forget that they exist when an idea that appeals their mind comes in front of them. They become one with the idea and after sharing their soul with the idea nurture the embryo of idea thus conceived.

 And its not just limited to ideas related to technology or any consumer specific problems, or the idea of a free nation or any ideology. An idea itself is not limited to any field. It will emerge anywhere, to anyone, whosoever wishes to change the things, for good or bad.

Hope is the soul of an idea. And it is something that never fades away. Even to a dying person, there is a hope of a better next life. Hope keeps the life flowing even to  a sinking, tired and dying sun, that it will rise again the next day. That the next day will be defined because of him only. A failed idea in a similar way will reemerge with greater prominence than before.

Fortunately most of the ideas emerging in contemporary time are for benefit of species here. As skills of people increase and efficient solutions to problems come in their minds, their souls, passion and hope of idea becoming successful combine to create an environment most conducive for their baby to flourish at good speed healthily. With time, this world is likely to become a better place with more people involved in solving problems than just a bunch of their representatives who, already occupied with large scale problems, find the small scale problems difficult to reach to without the people's support.

Successful ideas would fetch the creators a lifetime of satisfaction and monetary benefit comes as a bonus, though that's what most of the entrepreneurs set out to achieve as a primary goal. Some succeed in achieving this as primary goal, but many fail, because the goal was not backed by an appealing idea. The next version, emerging due to the hope alive even in the discarded idea, would be more refined and possibly more appealing.

The young and fresh come up with better solutions, or we can say that because the young are going to occupy the drivers seat in future, the solutions provided by them would be more valid in future. Hence they should be valued. Their ideas should be valued. Their potential, the hope of great power the world would be with them getting stronger, should be firmly believed. The spark in their eyes should be kept bright. We are seeing technology based solutions emerging in today's India, which are precise, scalable, least inefficient and easily accessible. But solutions are to be  found out in more domains. Social entrepreneurship is need of the time, and ngos like Goonj, Naz Foundation are doing appreciable work in this regard. Solutions related to agriculture, climate change, religious tolerance, better economics and many others are still pending and are open to the dynamic youth to take grip of and bring a better change in the world we live.

It is the ideas that keep us alive. Hope becomes a soul which is undoubtedly the most important ingredient any life needs, but in physical domain, the realisation of idea is what keeps us moving, active, and sails us through the daily turbulence of life. 

1, 2 and 3 days

Every night before getting lost in her dreamy world she thought of all those moments which once gave her strength to face world and at the same made her weak in front of him. Weak, because she never wanted him to go away from her. Possibly she was being selfish but she rather named it ‘love’. Love that made her do the craziest things, travel distances in chilly winter evenings just to see him for a few minutes, to sit next to him, to hear him say her name, to feel pretty, to share her stories, to feel his warmth, to click secret pictures, for that one parting shy hug which meant the world to her. All she has with her are memories. Certainly they don’t haunt her but makes her want to relive those moments forever and ever…but iisshhh reality bites she knows it can never happen again…‘Hum donno ki hai apni - apni lachaariyan…’

She is not in this mood for long though…rather a bit confused always, well that’s how she is, complicated. She feels going away from him wasn’t that bad also. It made her see some very important aspects to whom she was probably blind earlier. She realized her self worth, she became more accommodative, much more independent, trust worthy of people, firm believer in the fact that magic is yet to happen, and most important there are different but good people around– ‘Khud hi dhoond le ge kinaare…’

And she watched ‘love actually’ the very next day which again kept her thinking – was she in love ever? If No then that’s how it was supposed to be if Yes, did she try enough to be with him because if it was love they both would be watching some tale together sitting next to each other but well no that’s now never going to happen. Too many things buzzing in her head she decides to rest them all. A stamp to a relationship would have been great but no stamp no seeing each other no sharing lives does not mean it wasn’t love. There is love and that’s why she hopes to see him some day somewhere, bump into him and just look into his eyes. ‘God only knows what I’d be without you’

And today she woke up with a heavy heart...sigh! She dreamt of him…wondered why she could not control her dreams. Somewhere she liked it too, as he was wearing a bright colour t-shirt which she always insisted him to wear. He looked nice with that two weeks old beard, while she adored him in her dream he smiled looking at her, they both gazed at each other and ran somewhere unknown. That’s all she could remember when she opened her eyes in the morning. She dreamt of him, when he is no where close, when he is with someone for a life time, snuggling her, comforting her, loving her, showing her to the world, posting mushy pictures and probably seeing dreams with her which he once saw with her.

Why the hell she still dreamt of him she kept asking herself but did not get any answer to shut herself up! ‘Chhokar mere mann ko kiya tune kya ishara’

So close, yet so far

Lag Ja Galay, ki fir ye, hasin raat ho na ho
Shayad is janam mein, mulaakaat ho na ho

She is so far from me, but she is sitting there in front of my eyes, always singing this song, but never leaving me. There is a perennial flow of tears from her eyes, but she won't stop; she can't stop.

There can never be that last time with her. She is always there!