When the going gets tough

Brave men come to mind
Those who did not budge
in front of whom
the wind had to bow down

but the eyes are heavy
and don't want to brighten up
they keep waiting
if something would come
and lit them up
too tired they are
to themselves brighten up

And they don't want to lit up
Easy, comfortably closed in darkness
What was there to run after so much

It's the soul that doesn't agree
again she pulled me
stretched the loaf of meat I had become

My hands, still numb
moved an inch by themselves
my limbs, no longer powerless
got a grip over earth
my eyes, still heavy, but
head was a little light.

I stood up straight.
Took sword in my hands
the king that I was
refuses to be in dark

He wishes to fight again
He is not done yet
His enemy won't have an easy let off

He moves to win again.

A Cup of Tea

This is a piece written by my sister. I thoroughly enjoyed reading each bit of it. Hope you like it as well.
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All of us for sure remember the first time we rode a bicycle. That very moment when you look back and realise nobody was holding it and you were all alone riding it, when you knew it was all you. Just wow wali feeling comes as if some battle has been won. That rush when you realize a warm feeling is spreading from your chest to the tips of your toes – a feeling you can only describe as "being free".

There are many moments like these, the ones  we want to relive again and again. Few habits are inculcated in ones life as if they are some ritual...
Ive always seen my parents one such ritual was sharing a cup of tea at 5:30 a.m., every day. Watching them throw their everything into enjoying that moment made me to ponder what it was and felt like experiencing it too. Anything come in , but this ritual can't go was a reason why actually I felt to be in this moment but...

Girls have complexion as the biggest concern coz this is the parameter for their future prospects. Since childhood girls are refrained from having tea coz of the so called myth of getting their complexion off or early maturity and la bla bla .... " don't take lots of tea ... you will become dark ... shadi nahi hogi types and all ... chai garam hoti hai ....but still kisi ki aadat lag jaye to jati nahi hAi ... habit of tea and getting it sticked to ones lips becomes part and parcel of ones life and never want to be off with it as it's also taken as best companion if one is alone ...

How this habit of tea came in was more interesting ...Watching my parents go through the morning ritual of preparing tea. At 5 a.m., my entire house would be filled with the scent of fresh tea leaves and my father asking my mother to get up n have his hand made tea.. in summers adrak one and in winters ginger n jaggery ..I too at times woke up early but their habit was not modulated by any reasons ...they sat in balcony and would then sip it in silence while peeling vegetable or some other work ..For those 45 minutes or so nothing would sway them.. I always used to remember in my mind words of mother not to have tea as it will go for darker complexion but why they ...though its aroma was great but once i tasted it (chori se) and literally shit it's  bitterness numbed my tongue and made it impossible to taste anything for a while. It made my breath smell funny and worse. My taste buds were out of place . For the life of me, I couldnt make out why people drank hell amounts of this poison  every day, without actually enjoying it . At time I thought why tea but then in some deep corner of my mind I made to me that could be a possibility, probably my taste buds were not developed well by then ...

I thought of experimenting one day ..
The following incident occurred many years after my struggle why tea , I think I was an old and sensible girl in 6th standard. It was random day back from school we both sisters were shit tired and so thought of resting ... my mom was not there ..It was probably important coz my mind was wobbling with thoughts of what's so great in this tea ..
I asked my sister will you've tea ..She looked pretty down and while I wanted to cheer her up, I had no idea how to. I am a little awkward in situations like this.
But Great, now she is sad and I am stressed. I needed to relax and get her relaxed by this "tea" coz I've heard from my friends that tea is stress buster so that noon was just working like dream come true types ...
I again asked her chai piyegi Guddi...
For the next twenty minutes, she didnt say much.. while she slept I was in experimenting mode .. I watched the Taj Mahal tea changing coloration of plain water and it was really nice to see. I poured  in the sharp odour of cinnamon, cardamom and ginger brewing with the tea water which has already changed its colour .Then came the milk. It was the most amazing scene to me than to anything what I had seen till date.. the sight of milk mixing up and filling in the black spaces in a cup of tea.
I don’t remember much of that day, what I said or what she said. I don’t think she appreciated for tea coz she was sleeping sound and so I put that hot cup on her bare legs.  Though she didn't say anything rather slapped me for doing that mischievous act but i didn't do it purposely rather it was just done for appreciation in return as it first time struggling hard to make that which I used to have aversion with .But I remember my first sip of tea – spicy, soothing, sweet and refreshing, all at once.
But after having it, I saw her and yes we were both at peace. Complete, total peace. And as long as we had that cup of tea, things were going to be fine. We were going to be fine.
And that was the moment I completely fell for tea. I loved TEA..

So what at the end of the day I felt for tea was that yes Tea is a ritual. It is a million little reasons and jovial moments to yourself that help you get through the day. It slows you down and gives you ideas. Tea is patience, it is meditation.

Now ,
22 years and many hundreds of cups of chai have passed since that day in and beyond the room But to me, the comfort and well-being a cup of tea provides hasn’t changed. I hope it never does.

And yes it can't be replaced to anything ... it's my first love <3

Her Dilemma. To be or not to be

She was not in very best of her judgemental capacity when her father had fixed her marriage with an unknown person, at least unknown to her for sure. Afraid of her father, as well as not very much sure of herself, she did not say raise much objection and followed what her fate had for her.

Her new house was different, in almost all aspects, for her. Her ego did not let her change herself and her new family did not change it's rules and principles for her a lot. She, still not sure of herself, only relied on her mother and her husband for advice, both of whom could not see the situation as deeply as it was required, as they were in their own roles.

Her husband tried to solve her problems by telling her what to do in some situations, but she could not follow them because that would mean forgetting her previous family and focussing on the new family where she is sent. She still felt responsible for her old family. Her indifference to the new members isolated her in her new house and due to societal pressures, she could not break the shackles and go back to live in her old home.

Her new family was experiencing this stress for the first time, where nothing wrong is done, but there is an environment of stress everywhere, because there is a family member now, who does not consider herself to be a part her, who thinks people are against her and the only people who can protect her are her old family mates, her siblings and her parents. May be the rules of the new family were too much for her to follow; or may be the new family was genuinely very bad, contrary to the perceptions made by the society for over 50 years.

She had two options to choose, both of them demanded sacrifice. In one case, the sacrifice of her ego and her teachings of old family which were causing troubles in her new family. In other case, the sacrifice of her newly found husband friend and also the new associated pains of discipline, restrictions and solitude. Unfortunately, she has not yet been able to choose.

Her dilemma is very strong, as there are for sure a few items in both the options which she does not want to sacrifice, and a few items which she wishes to.

She has to decide where to take the next step. She does not like being finger held and shown the path. Everyone is waiting for her to take the next leap. Her husband, her mother, her in laws, her siblings, and may be she herself.

A toast to raise! 1000 Likes

This blog has received 1000 likes. On this small achievement by this diary, I wish to thank people firstly for appreciating posts of this blog.

Emotions are not easy to convey in such a manner that they affect all the readers. Only a few who are the masters of control can express what truly is behind their minds. Even the bests like Shashi Tharoor can write something in gust of emotion which will affect readers in an unintended way. I, being a simple modest man by all standards in language,  am trying to keep myself aloof but at the same time wish to tell about an emotion, Love.

I discovered one true effect of love. It connects! It makes a person feel oneness with every one else. He/She is able to relate to others' joys and sorrows. It makes the other person feel secure that he/she is not alone in this world and that there is always someone around him/her who will understand. Life of love is very light, as you share your burdens, because you see that you are not alone ever carrying a load; everyone else is taking space on the same ground with you. You speak effortlessly without fear of the adjacent person about politics, cricket and what not, babies, kids, whole world in a nutshell is open for discussion for people fearless and full of love.

A person in love would be more than ready everytime to save a person in distress. His passion for keeping peace alive and vibrant inside his territory is worth inspiration. His dedication for his parents is a role model for any family. Nothing can be rid of love. Peace and prosperity comes to such places where importance of love is known, either as a work or as a ritual.

So dear world, connect with others, love others and feel the oneness of all. 

A world of Dream: Shatter it yourself

A world of dream...

How nice it seems. Free from daily troubles. Once you are lost in the dream, roads to next stage automatically open themselves up to you. And everything is so fluffy on the way.

How easy you become millionaire and all your life's problems are solved just at throwing of a bundle of notes. Worrisome things like death, illness are never even existent. You get whoever you wished for and are even more happy with them.

You fly high and there is nothing stopping you, except the only thing real... the harsh situation, the deep shit you have brought yourself into.

Why did the pillars of dream not realise ? Because there were never there, you fool! Did you ever had a look what is the platform for them ? Never did it occur to you that this world is not in the dimension your dreams are.  Now you are homeless, begging for even a small shed to protect you from rain, why not try to rebuild the pillars of dream ?

You, you are for the real world. Where did you waste yourself in the world of no end ? While you were resting in peace in your cushioned bed, a body left this world hoping for a better world ahead. Was your cushioned bed even visible to it ? You just wasted your existence connecting yourself with the bed which did not even exist.

Your limbs are for real, you are for real! The power that you have is for real. Proof lies in every bit of this world. It has not got built by itself. Hundreds of years of strength of hands like yours have created and witnessed the magnanimity of things around you. Your two eyes are for real. See. Inspire yourself. Get fuelled to act. Act to serve this world. It badly needs you, however much you wish to neglect it.

These students will make everyone proud

A year and a half ago, I went to a college for promoting a training programme for job placement. I was received well and was given a chance to address the students as the chief guest in their annual departmental function.

Sincere students look up to their teachers and always have a hope that their teacher will guide them to a bright future. Some of them contacted me after my address and showed their interest in the training programme. Excited to have my first batch of students from this college, I decided to come to the college classroom itself instead of my classroom to teach them, as it was far to the students to travel 13 kms to my place. They learnt programming and had enthusiasm and ambition of changing the world. I had not imagined that students from private colleges would be having their eyes lit up for bringing change to the world. I had thought that they would be solely focused in securing a job after graduation. It was a pleasant realisation for me as now I could dream of involving students from all colleges to work with me.

I had to discontinue my visit to the college as I was going to get married and following 2-3 months would have been busy, though I always kept myself available to the students and tried to clear their queries through chat and email. This is the least I could have done to keep their spirits high.

One year on, and yes these students are turning out to be exceptionally good in programming and still have great eagerness to change the world. Their hard work has already rendered them great feats in competitions and their tenacity to learn more leaves them growth hungry. Who wouldn't like such students. I called some of them at my home classroom to discuss how interested they are in resuming the classes, and they were ready and excited to start.

At Teck Academy, I guide students to better themselves in programming and work at some challenging example problems which will make them ready for placements in college. All those students, near or far, interested in interacting with me can contact me from any source given in the page. I will be more than happy to give you guidance related to programming and placements. 

Happy Republic Day

While I listen to this song, which got auto-played in youtube after the song I was hearing finished, it hit my mind that I have not written for long. Also today is a day not to be forgotten, as our country's functioning system was brought into force this day.

We the people, had given to ourselves this constitution exactly 2 months before 26 January 1950. We started abiding by it exactly 67 years before. Our soldiers, guarding the country's vulnerable boundaries continue abiding by the constitution even at the cost of their physical existence.

Our political leaders, who upheld the constitution in its formative years are to be praised and saluted for their will and commitment to build the concept called India. Had they been of wavering tendency, our 1.3 billion people would have no where to look upto and the fall would have been even more insulting than the British Rule; that we were not able to stand on our own when we were given a chance. Unfortunately, the trend of honest politicians was soon replaced by corrupt ones, who got inspiration from corruption of bureaucrats and rose to power. The constitution was again in threat when dictatorial attitude of Indira Gandhi but with power of the people, the threat did not loom for long. Diversity of India forced coalition politics which bound government of many terms to opposition and interruption filled functioning. But the coalition government at least showed that no section of our country is not represented. All, thanks to the solid foundation on which our forefathers built the constitution.

Time and again, this masterpiece of Baba Saheb Ambedkar, or so I feel, has saved this nation from political disaster. This time though, under the present government, I feel the constitution is showing its true power! The nation has matured in these 68 years and we now have more engineers, doctors, statesmen, artists, and many other professionals than even before. This government has the freedom to execute its plans without any interference from opposition. In addition, the representatives holding the minister-ship have impeccable records professionally and politically, with most of them already having proven their intention of India First. The current alliance shows what we can achieve if we act collectively and coherently. I am not a bjp fan, but I am immensely awed by the discipline, a sense of common cause, and intellect of the party members.

Of late, no other political party seems to have new faces in political arena; most of them just being busy in reshuffling and adjusting the defected other-party members. Good orators and debaters like Sambit Patra, Nalin Kohli, Sudhanshu Trivedi etc are adding quality to the discussions in tv debates while others seem to have no quality content in their replies. The opinion of crowd is not built in a day and in debates where some party spokespersons outshine others, the winner in minds of the people becomes clear.

The spirit of constitution is what is driving the politics right now, or I wish to believe, is starting to drive the politics. Earlier, the Anna andolan moved the public out from their comfort, and Kejriwal's Aam Aadmi Party (which seems to have lost the cause for which it started and got people's support) emerged. Then an alternate option of BJP as power holder came into realisation. The nation has seen unprecedented changes in these 2-3 years, including demonetization, which in my opinion is the boldest move the government has made till now, all this under the umbrella of our constitution. Though with a small fear of dictatorial apprehensions (signs of which have not appeared till now),  I am seeing the current development of politics as going a right direction and aiming towards growth of every one.

He who, taught me love!

He who, taught me love

Only seems like a dream and nothing more

He who, talked for hours

Has become a story with a scar

He who, fought in love with me

Is now caught in love by else

He who, showed me the differences

Has made life indifferent

He who, had so much to say

Is now silent in the grey

He who, scared me with his wish-list 

Is now flying high in the mist  

He who, sang in the ears

Is moving ahead with his dears 

He who, dreamt to grow by my side

Is now been held tight in the snow slide

He who, was always seen

Is still searched like a silly teen  

  

He who, taught me love

Only seems like a dream and nothing more