Ab Na Ja

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR4DZ0qb9Mg 

Songs like this, even if not attached to you through any emotional event in the past, have such a  beautiful theme / lyrics / videography and music that you immediately are attached to them and connect a matching emotional state of your past with the song.

The song reminds me of my introverted nature. I still feel comfortable not speaking much, so much that the other person may get bored. But life around me demands an explicit behaviour, so that introverted person is still somewhere inside, but not visible a lot. The song also shows the sad part of not letting your feelings come to words. But the part of song I like most is how seeing the photo and earring, the girl also recollects when that event happened. She must have realised how valuable that casual pic had become for the guy. In the end also, she wanted palash to say the words. She kept waiting and then was leaving in sadness when Palash could not stop anymore and asked her finally to not go anywhere.

There are heartbreaks as well as promises fulfilled in everyone's lives. So no one is ever alone in his or her journey. 

However in high emotional situations, when no one comes to your mind but you and your situation, music can become a great companion. 

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An old year goes, new year comes!

A day will come when we will also leave our bodies along with our past. I wonder many times how much new we will become then :)
There should be some bundle of identity that we may take with ourselves. May be not. Anyways, the thought is more often exciting than dreadful.
Like everyone waits for their turn, we all shall also wait for shedding off our loads. Till then, an assumption that our load is temporary will help us walk long long way! :)

Unmarried yet Unhappy

So ironic some people's lives are. Just talk to them if they are married, and that is just sufficient to make them erupt lava, however cool they behave in front of people.

Look at the married people and see how happy they are. Everyone is having a stuggle to go through and every patient man or woman is having a hard time holding on to this virtue.

Unmarried people / unhappy people, you are not alone. There are 7 billion people and innumerable species on the same plane as you. Have courage to go along.

:)

When the going gets tough

Brave men come to mind
Those who did not budge
in front of whom
the wind had to bow down

but the eyes are heavy
and don't want to brighten up
they keep waiting
if something would come
and lit them up
too tired they are
to themselves brighten up

And they don't want to lit up
Easy, comfortably closed in darkness
What was there to run after so much

It's the soul that doesn't agree
again she pulled me
stretched the loaf of meat I had become

My hands, still numb
moved an inch by themselves
my limbs, no longer powerless
got a grip over earth
my eyes, still heavy, but
head was a little light.

I stood up straight.
Took sword in my hands
the king that I was
refuses to be in dark

He wishes to fight again
He is not done yet
His enemy won't have an easy let off

He moves to win again.

A Cup of Tea

This is a piece written by my sister. I thoroughly enjoyed reading each bit of it. Hope you like it as well.
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All of us for sure remember the first time we rode a bicycle. That very moment when you look back and realise nobody was holding it and you were all alone riding it, when you knew it was all you. Just wow wali feeling comes as if some battle has been won. That rush when you realize a warm feeling is spreading from your chest to the tips of your toes – a feeling you can only describe as "being free".

There are many moments like these, the ones  we want to relive again and again. Few habits are inculcated in ones life as if they are some ritual...
Ive always seen my parents one such ritual was sharing a cup of tea at 5:30 a.m., every day. Watching them throw their everything into enjoying that moment made me to ponder what it was and felt like experiencing it too. Anything come in , but this ritual can't go was a reason why actually I felt to be in this moment but...

Girls have complexion as the biggest concern coz this is the parameter for their future prospects. Since childhood girls are refrained from having tea coz of the so called myth of getting their complexion off or early maturity and la bla bla .... " don't take lots of tea ... you will become dark ... shadi nahi hogi types and all ... chai garam hoti hai ....but still kisi ki aadat lag jaye to jati nahi hAi ... habit of tea and getting it sticked to ones lips becomes part and parcel of ones life and never want to be off with it as it's also taken as best companion if one is alone ...

How this habit of tea came in was more interesting ...Watching my parents go through the morning ritual of preparing tea. At 5 a.m., my entire house would be filled with the scent of fresh tea leaves and my father asking my mother to get up n have his hand made tea.. in summers adrak one and in winters ginger n jaggery ..I too at times woke up early but their habit was not modulated by any reasons ...they sat in balcony and would then sip it in silence while peeling vegetable or some other work ..For those 45 minutes or so nothing would sway them.. I always used to remember in my mind words of mother not to have tea as it will go for darker complexion but why they ...though its aroma was great but once i tasted it (chori se) and literally shit it's  bitterness numbed my tongue and made it impossible to taste anything for a while. It made my breath smell funny and worse. My taste buds were out of place . For the life of me, I couldnt make out why people drank hell amounts of this poison  every day, without actually enjoying it . At time I thought why tea but then in some deep corner of my mind I made to me that could be a possibility, probably my taste buds were not developed well by then ...

I thought of experimenting one day ..
The following incident occurred many years after my struggle why tea , I think I was an old and sensible girl in 6th standard. It was random day back from school we both sisters were shit tired and so thought of resting ... my mom was not there ..It was probably important coz my mind was wobbling with thoughts of what's so great in this tea ..
I asked my sister will you've tea ..She looked pretty down and while I wanted to cheer her up, I had no idea how to. I am a little awkward in situations like this.
But Great, now she is sad and I am stressed. I needed to relax and get her relaxed by this "tea" coz I've heard from my friends that tea is stress buster so that noon was just working like dream come true types ...
I again asked her chai piyegi Guddi...
For the next twenty minutes, she didnt say much.. while she slept I was in experimenting mode .. I watched the Taj Mahal tea changing coloration of plain water and it was really nice to see. I poured  in the sharp odour of cinnamon, cardamom and ginger brewing with the tea water which has already changed its colour .Then came the milk. It was the most amazing scene to me than to anything what I had seen till date.. the sight of milk mixing up and filling in the black spaces in a cup of tea.
I don’t remember much of that day, what I said or what she said. I don’t think she appreciated for tea coz she was sleeping sound and so I put that hot cup on her bare legs.  Though she didn't say anything rather slapped me for doing that mischievous act but i didn't do it purposely rather it was just done for appreciation in return as it first time struggling hard to make that which I used to have aversion with .But I remember my first sip of tea – spicy, soothing, sweet and refreshing, all at once.
But after having it, I saw her and yes we were both at peace. Complete, total peace. And as long as we had that cup of tea, things were going to be fine. We were going to be fine.
And that was the moment I completely fell for tea. I loved TEA..

So what at the end of the day I felt for tea was that yes Tea is a ritual. It is a million little reasons and jovial moments to yourself that help you get through the day. It slows you down and gives you ideas. Tea is patience, it is meditation.

Now ,
22 years and many hundreds of cups of chai have passed since that day in and beyond the room But to me, the comfort and well-being a cup of tea provides hasn’t changed. I hope it never does.

And yes it can't be replaced to anything ... it's my first love <3

Her Dilemma. To be or not to be

She was not in very best of her judgemental capacity when her father had fixed her marriage with an unknown person, at least unknown to her for sure. Afraid of her father, as well as not very much sure of herself, she did not say raise much objection and followed what her fate had for her.

Her new house was different, in almost all aspects, for her. Her ego did not let her change herself and her new family did not change it's rules and principles for her a lot. She, still not sure of herself, only relied on her mother and her husband for advice, both of whom could not see the situation as deeply as it was required, as they were in their own roles.

Her husband tried to solve her problems by telling her what to do in some situations, but she could not follow them because that would mean forgetting her previous family and focussing on the new family where she is sent. She still felt responsible for her old family. Her indifference to the new members isolated her in her new house and due to societal pressures, she could not break the shackles and go back to live in her old home.

Her new family was experiencing this stress for the first time, where nothing wrong is done, but there is an environment of stress everywhere, because there is a family member now, who does not consider herself to be a part her, who thinks people are against her and the only people who can protect her are her old family mates, her siblings and her parents. May be the rules of the new family were too much for her to follow; or may be the new family was genuinely very bad, contrary to the perceptions made by the society for over 50 years.

She had two options to choose, both of them demanded sacrifice. In one case, the sacrifice of her ego and her teachings of old family which were causing troubles in her new family. In other case, the sacrifice of her newly found husband friend and also the new associated pains of discipline, restrictions and solitude. Unfortunately, she has not yet been able to choose.

Her dilemma is very strong, as there are for sure a few items in both the options which she does not want to sacrifice, and a few items which she wishes to.

She has to decide where to take the next step. She does not like being finger held and shown the path. Everyone is waiting for her to take the next leap. Her husband, her mother, her in laws, her siblings, and may be she herself.

A toast to raise! 1000 Likes

This blog has received 1000 likes. On this small achievement by this diary, I wish to thank people firstly for appreciating posts of this blog.

Emotions are not easy to convey in such a manner that they affect all the readers. Only a few who are the masters of control can express what truly is behind their minds. Even the bests like Shashi Tharoor can write something in gust of emotion which will affect readers in an unintended way. I, being a simple modest man by all standards in language,  am trying to keep myself aloof but at the same time wish to tell about an emotion, Love.

I discovered one true effect of love. It connects! It makes a person feel oneness with every one else. He/She is able to relate to others' joys and sorrows. It makes the other person feel secure that he/she is not alone in this world and that there is always someone around him/her who will understand. Life of love is very light, as you share your burdens, because you see that you are not alone ever carrying a load; everyone else is taking space on the same ground with you. You speak effortlessly without fear of the adjacent person about politics, cricket and what not, babies, kids, whole world in a nutshell is open for discussion for people fearless and full of love.

A person in love would be more than ready everytime to save a person in distress. His passion for keeping peace alive and vibrant inside his territory is worth inspiration. His dedication for his parents is a role model for any family. Nothing can be rid of love. Peace and prosperity comes to such places where importance of love is known, either as a work or as a ritual.

So dear world, connect with others, love others and feel the oneness of all.